All for me.

It’s not the fear of failure
That leaves me in the nearly
Man camp or solutions hope;
Their effects have always made
Their presence felt, but much
Later than reservations set in.

It’s not decisions made and taken
Hastily that leave me hesitant
Before the next step; I have always
Followed paths of first impulse
And allowed their mixed results
To cleave the following.

It’s not the fluctuating movement
Of the clock or its inevitable destination
That roots me to the spot; its hands have
Always pointed me vicariously forward
Whilst their journey has commemorated
What I left behind.

It’s not the lassitude of people that
Refuses my progression through them or
The weight of peers pressing on demand;
They have always been a vanity I’ve avoided
For the sake of my own service and the sanity
Of worthiness I’ve always thought myself a part.

It’s not the contradictions rising from the
Universe’s origin or Jesus Christ ascending
From a sallow coloured land or the meandering of
Existence which is always out of reach and just
About to be revealed behind the curtain pall;
No, it’s my cowardice, my bravery, my fealty,
My treason, my absolute refusal to continue
Anymore before the maze of human nature.